Doubt: Faith amid the Silence of God
Alright men. I really want your input on this one, I'll try and keep it short. We all know that faith is hard. As Christians we are to practice 'solidarity' with the world, showing them the riches of faith in Christ. But also, we are to be apart - because we do live in the liberation of Christ. But the difficulty that I mention here is a different kind.
I ask, have you ever doubted. Not in God's ability, or your ability, or in faith. No, have you ever doubted in such severity that you feel that you can no longer call yourself a Christian? Have you ever been so burned out with faith, that for a time...you loose it. This doubt comes differently to all non-infants of faith. For some, the pain hits when they proclaim the new life of Christ, and yet...there is not even a spark to light it within themselves. For others, it is when they wake up one day to feel as though they have the understanding that their faith holds no ground, and they search for the foundation that holds their foundation. For yet others, it is simply when they come to the cold realization that they stand in a night, alone with nothing but silence. They cannot feel, hear, or see God any longer - eventually being stripped of their ability to commune with him. and yet, so often than not, these three examples seem to coincide with each other - a person who has experienced one, experiences the others. It is a topic that I have searched deeply into, as (I do not claim to be an expert) I am no stranger to bumpy roads in faith myself. But before I explore those possibilities with you all, I am curious - to those who have suffered or are suffering a profound difficulty in believing. What did you find? God Bless.
-Beardo-
I ask, have you ever doubted. Not in God's ability, or your ability, or in faith. No, have you ever doubted in such severity that you feel that you can no longer call yourself a Christian? Have you ever been so burned out with faith, that for a time...you loose it. This doubt comes differently to all non-infants of faith. For some, the pain hits when they proclaim the new life of Christ, and yet...there is not even a spark to light it within themselves. For others, it is when they wake up one day to feel as though they have the understanding that their faith holds no ground, and they search for the foundation that holds their foundation. For yet others, it is simply when they come to the cold realization that they stand in a night, alone with nothing but silence. They cannot feel, hear, or see God any longer - eventually being stripped of their ability to commune with him. and yet, so often than not, these three examples seem to coincide with each other - a person who has experienced one, experiences the others. It is a topic that I have searched deeply into, as (I do not claim to be an expert) I am no stranger to bumpy roads in faith myself. But before I explore those possibilities with you all, I am curious - to those who have suffered or are suffering a profound difficulty in believing. What did you find? God Bless.
-Beardo-
posted by Mike Beardslee at 3:16 PM
7 Comments:
I tell you what, B-dizzle, I'm there right now. I've been confronted with some no nonsense questions about God's existence lately. I don't know which way I'm headed, to or from God, but sometimes it's the questions that lead.
It's a scary goings on, but I'm slowly getting along. It's like inching along a 20th story ledge. One way or another you end up somewhere.
Hey Mick. I know how you feel, and I don't say that to trivialize the matter. I wonder if I am still there now, but lately I find myself feeling more like I am on the eve of a renaissance...don't ask why I think so. Just a 'gut' feeling. Maybe its when we commit to falling that we end up a place more genuine. I want to ask you though, since we are here. Do you think that there can be and indeed is a place for doubt among Christian faith? As Kettler asks in his book, is it a vice...or a virtue...? (I'm reading up on what he has to tell me, mentored by Kettler...and not even talking with the man, doesn't really surprise me...I'll let you boys know what I find)
waiting on God.
-beardo-
You said our revelation texts don't talk about the silence of God at all. Surely, we can gain something from the stories of Jesus. Alone in the garden? Maybe our scope is too specific.
Question Beardo. You signed it, "waiting on God." But are you waiting on God or is God waiting on you?
Greetings Men. Our wichita group is getting smaller, but I pray that space alone doesn't ever come between the brotherhood. Blessings.
Men, a couple of musings before I sleep.
There are many things tonight that I've run through my head about our discussion here, but I only want to propose a couple. First. Silence among the faithful is a strong element throughout our scriptures (revelation texts - awesome!). Just reference the psalms. Consider psalm 88, which i've sought prayer in many times, ending with "darkness is my only friend." They are filled with imprecating language that calls God out, asks him to answer for they are waiting on him. I too, believe that Christ himself wrestled with silence, perhaps the most profound silence. Silence is oftentimes the language of God in the realm of faith. Why he chooses such a method is a mystery to me...probably because it works. It is through silence that we are forced to approach ourselves, our faith, and our condition in its most clear. It is the silence of God that oftentimes makes us most attentive to what he has to say.
Secondly, I fear loosing track. I haven't had a ture discussion of faith with you, Matt, in a long while - a fact that I regret. I thank you deeply for your concern for me, you are a true brother. But the issue reinstated is the doubt that seeps in. It isn't a doubt caused solely by cognative dissonance, faith is oftentimes stronger than that. Nor is this doubt as easily fixed by a simple mechanation of our minds regarding faith. This is a doubt roots itself deeply, existentially. And when it does, the cognative problems become true problems indeed. See, for me, silence is a part of faith. If God is waiting on me, what is he waiting on me to do - his silence doesn't lend itself towards any of that. No, amid silence, perhaps the most holy thing we can do is patiently wait in expectation. But...this doubt, which for now has seemed to reside in me a little, will root itself and make us stop waiting for God, or listening for him. The psalms and the Gathsemane example both presuppose a foundation of an existing and loving-covenenial God. What does our texts have to say about when you begin to fail to believe what you believe. Thoughts?
-Beardo-
sorry about all the typos :)
-Beardo-
Hi guys, I've finally (thanks to Beardlees help) been able to log in. I think I may have missed this conversation, but I wanted to say hi, and also that I pray for you guys and what you're up to almost everyday. I really miss you all.
Eric
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